The choices and circumstances of our lives often look like the stones in that wall. Events, joys, hurts, or what I like to call "disappointments" over time create walls in our lives. Walls can be good as they guard us from the things we should not allow in, but they can also keep out what is good. Not all stones are bad, but many walls are built from unmet expectations. I often say that a "dis" appointment is a meeting that I set that God didn't agree to.
In 2027, Jeff and I will begin a new season. To be honest, it's bittersweet as I've spent the last 30 years of my life serving in pastoral leadership and now I'm not sure what is next. Serving my family and serving my church is what I have given my life to.
The day we were in the Garden of Gethsemane we had 45 minutes to spend with God. I chose that stool along that wall. Why? Because for most of my life, I've often found myself on the outside observing and wondering where I should be. I'm not the kind of person that enjoys being the center of attention, but as a leader it is part of the job.
As I sat there pondering on my life as a follower of Jesus, I realized that most of my disappointments were places where I wanted God to get on board with my plan. As I began to listen to that still small voice in the shade of the garden, I realized that it was in this place where Jesus prayed the night he was betrayed. His prayer was, "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." (Luke 22:42, NLT).
It was in this very garden that God had an appointment set for His one and only son. Jesus had always lived on God's schedule because He said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does." (John 5:19, NLT) Jesus knew what was ahead of him, to endure the cross. Yet he still chose to stay on God's schedule. I think he prayed this prayer to show us that even he didn't want the suffering, but was willing to chose it anyway. He knew God's plan had a purpose--salvation for all mankind.
It was then I realized that all of my steps (the good, the bad, and the ugly), led me to this moment. The times I followed Jesus and the times I detoured still brought me here, to this place. In this next season, my schedule is His. I have no plan except the one He has for me. I will pray before I proceed and I will listen before I lead. This appointment with God is one that will forever be etched within my soul. That little plastic stool where I sat will be my alter place. The place I surrendered my plan to Him. This picture is now framed on my wall at my desk. A reminder of what truly was a divine appointment.
"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." -Proverbs 19:21, NLT
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