Recently, I found myself in this place. A season that seemed to be heavy. Funny, that we just happened to be in the midst of fall. A time when most trees and some plants rid themselves of the dry dead leaves of summer and prepare for the winter when they look dead, but are really alive and well on the inside.
One night, in the early hours of the morning, I was awaken by the Holy Spirit. The weight and anxiety I woke up to was an urgency to begin interceding for my family. I can't explain the feeling that comes when this happens, all I can say is it's urgent.
As I prayed, I remembered that my daughter had made a comment earlier in the week, "we just need breakthrough." The Holy Spirit began to speak to me about this. What is breakthrough? How do we know we are in the midst of it, and how do we keep from giving up if we are in that place?
The Holy Spirit brought to mind that breakthrough is really two words that are joined together. The dictionary meaning of breakthrough is "a sudden, dramatic, and important discovery or development. An instance of achieving success in a particular sphere or activity." (Dictionary.com) As I separated the word into break and through, this is what I sensed the Holy Spirit saying, "To have a breakthrough, there is a breaking that has to happen. Breaking is painful. Breaking hurts. Breaking causes pain. Broken pieces cut others. Brokenness bleeds. But breaking is necessary in order to bring healing. To bring thing the dross to the top, so to speak. To scrape off the gunk (the best word to describe what it feels like) that is causing the season of stagnancy. I think of a body of water where there is no movement. It collects the contaminants of the air and whatever is in the water begins to rot. It's disgusting and smells awful. But it has to be cleared of this sludge and waste. When our hearts become a biohazard, we must remove the toxic things of the heart that have contaminated our life and those around us.
As the Holy Spirit continued to show me to when I surrender, not give up, those are two different things, that He will come in and carry me through the breaking process. Surrendering is giving God permission to work. Giving up is walking away from the process. As we surrender and allow Him to be at work removing what's causing us to feel stuck, He carries us through to the other side, on His timetable, not ours. As I came to this revelation, I realized that pressing through it is the key.
It does seem that as we are being broken, our insecurities are being exposed. When this happens, the scheme of the enemy is to taunt us during this time. He's such a liar and deceiver. He throws arrows in our most vulnerable moments hoping you will believe that you are not worthy of the breakthrough and that you will never overcome your insecurity and sin. It truly is a battle and this is why putting on the Full Armor of God is so important. Ephesians 6:10-11 tells us, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes." (NIV) This is the part of the breakthrough where we have to choose not to give up. God will fight for us. The author of Ephesians, the apostle Paul goes on to say, in verses 12 and 13 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." (NIV) We must stand in the midst of the battle and trust our Heavenly Father is at work. Remember God is greater than Satan and He has ALL power over him. We are instructed later in verse 18 to "pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." We have to stay alert in the breaking time.
As I sit here now, writing this, I am still in the midst of the breaking. But as I walk through it day to day, like the photo on this post shows the morning sunlight breaking through the broken clouds, there's now a hope I sense that God is truly "working all things together for good because we have been called according to His purpose."(Romans 8:28, NIV) Like the seasons that God created for a purpose, fall is the time of letting go from the summer heat. Winter is the time of inner work that moves us into the spring of His glory.
Maybe you too feel in a place of hopelessness. Maybe you are in the middle of a breaking season. A time you feel as though you are being suffocated and it may sound extreme, but being strangled. Our only hope in these times is Jesus. He was broken for us at the cross. But He is our hope. He says in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Give Jesus your secret sin and darkest fears. Give Him permission to break them into pieces, remove them, allow Him to work through you so you may become "God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (Ephesians 2:10, NLT)
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