Saturday, August 24, 2019

Peace of My Heart

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15

This verse has truly become my daily medicine. As some of you know, I have been on an "emotional eating weight loss" journey. Forgiveness is the key to our health, I am convinced. I say journey because there are days that seem that I will never reach my destination.  On my birthday over a year ago, I knew that I needed to get my emotional life in order. I weighed the most I had ever weighed and with family history of heart disease and diabetes, I knew that I really wanted to change that in my life. I wanted to break the generational cycle.

I posted a blog about the journey of "The Gain of Losing the Emotional Weight." I know it was God speaking to my heart as this past year has stirred up many emotions. The first with the passing of my dad which was the beginning of a different kind of year. I honestly believe that is why God had me start it prior to my dad's passing. He knew I would need to be aware of my emotions and eating. It started the year of "firsts" which was celebrating holidays, birthdays, anniversaries without him. It was walking with my mom as she grieved. It was moving a church and dad not here to celebrate. It was the process of moving my mom out of her house of 50 years. It was starting a new position at work. (My dad would have been so proud.) My in-laws moved to New Hampshire at the same time we were moving my mom. And most recently my son moved away. All these things stir up emotions and I see now why it was important for me to get on top of my emotional eating. What was strange is I still had not really "cried" over my dad's passing, which has had me concerned. I had been speaking  Colossians 3:15 over me throughout the day.

With all of this, recently I noticed that I wasn't feeling well. I am not one to go to the doctor! In fact I avoid it at all costs! But I was really concerned as I took my blood pressure and saw that it was way above normal.  I told my doctor what the past year had been like and that I was concerned that I hadn't cried yet.  She told me that it could be the back up of grief and stress that I was holding onto. She decided to do some blood work to see what was going on. I was so nervous that this caused my blood pressure to spike even more. I told her I had "white coat syndrome." I was even ready to start taking blood pressure medication. She was pleased with my weight loss and so was I!As I sat in the waiting area to get my blood work done, I kept speaking Colossians 3:15 over me. I prayed the blood of Jesus to cleanse my blood. 
That night, I woke up at 12:00am and my mind flooded with worry.  I couldn't sleep so I got up an went down stairs. I opened my email and my results were already completed.  My curiosity got the best of me. I decided to read my results.  I was completely surprised at what I saw.  Not only did my blood work come back good, it was even better than my results 3 years ago! I was completely surprised! And there wasn't anyone for me to tell because it was midnight. 
The next week I had to go back for another blood pressure reading. Again, I kept speaking Colossians 3:15 over me. This reading was different from the others as I had to sit quiet in a room all by myself for 5 minutes. After taking three readings, the nurse came in and said, "I have good news." I sat up and said "good news?"  She said, "yes, your average reading was 127/80!" I was overwhelmed at this and knew that it was Jesus healing my heart.
I am HEALED physically truly because of my obedience to what God was asking me to do over a year ago. I am truly convinced that dealing with forgiveness is key to our health.  So many are sick with chronic diseases.  The television is  full of prescription medication advertisements. Social media is an example of all the unhealthy anger and resentment.  If people are not forgiving, it's no wonder we are so sick. Especially the Body of Christ. I talk to so many Christians who are dealing with illnesses and I am believe it's because we haven't truly dealt with our forgiveness issues.  We say say we have, but if we turned the light on in our souls we'd find things that have rooted and are hiding in the corners. I can only say this from experience. We have the Holy Spirit in us which is the greatest power on this earth.  Not forgiving, even the littlest things is like kryptonite against the Holy Spirit. And yes, the enemy doesn't want you to find those little things because it keeps us powerless.

I wanted to share this peace of my heart that only Jesus could heal.  There was no other way for me to explain this.  By inviting him into this journey, I truly believe that is why my blood is clean and my heart is at peace not only spiritually, but physically.  I want to encourage you, that if you have any kind of illness that is brought on through stress, give it to Jesus and ask him to help you. Psalm 51:10 says "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me."  Allow him to search your heart and clean out anything that might be hiding and making you sick. Once you have forgiven the person or issue, bless them or it and seal it with gratitude. Thankfulness seals the deal.  God has called us to peace as Colossians 3:15 says.  Let Him give you the "peace of His Heart."