I'm taking a detour today in my devotional. For the past few weeks, I have been troubled about some personal things. Last night I think it was really heavy on my heart. I woke up at 2:30am and I tossed and turned for the next 30 minutes. I finally just got up and went down stairs to pray. I decided it was a good time to sit in the quiet of my home and write in my prayer journal. I haven't had this troubled feeling in such a long time. It's feeling that I have a knot in my stomach. I felt much better getting it out of my head and down on paper and finally at 4:00am I went back to bed.
Instead of going to the gym this morning I felt the Lord tell me to "take a walk with Him." As I stepped outside with my ipod, I looked at the sky. It's been an unusually cool summer here in Southern California. Usually in August we are reaching the mid 90's, but instead its been "June gloom." I turned my music on to my worship playlist. So many songs, but I needed something to help me get started on my walk. Jeff had called me earlier asking me about the title of a worship song. That is rare because he's the worship music king. But I think that was God already ordering my steps for our walk. I played the song that Jeff had asked me about. It's called "Sing of Your Great Love" by Hillsongs. It's one of my favorite songs. The chorus says, "Holy, holy is the Lord " and it repeats. My favorite part is the verse that says, "I love to see you (Jesus) glorified, to see you lifted high. I long to see all nations bow their knees. It's you alone Lord Jesus who can cause the coldest heart, to find your love and everlasting peace." I don't know why that portion of the song touches a part of my soul that I so long for. I discovered recently there is a bridge in the song. It says, "And the trumpet will sound. And all of Heaven will know the time has finally come for the Bride to take her place and we'll hear the angels sing. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord..." Oh, it just gets me every time!
So I'm listening to this song. Instead of walking through the neighborhood, I thought I would make my way out to the main street. Not something I would normally do. But the Holy Spirit was leading me this way. I know without a shadow of a doubt it He was.
Just catty-corner from my house is a vacant field that is owned by the electric company. The power lines run through there. Right now the field is dead and dry, but last spring after all the rain, it was a lush green pasture of 3 feet tall wild flowers. The flowers are tiny little yellow flowers. Probably weeds, but in suburbia I'd like to think it was a green field. Just before summer began, the electric company mowed it down and now it is just a dry brown barren field. Not very pretty to look at. As I passed by this field I heard the Holy Spirit quietly tell me to look at it. Now you would have never noticed it if you were driving by or really even walking by because you would not have expected to see it. But this field was filled, I mean filled with brown doves! Hundreds of them eating the seed in the ground. All of the sudden, I haven't had this since I had my "fruit stand experience" back in 2004. Funny that it's across from that corner. But I felt the Holy Spirit reign down on my soul. It was so powerful I just stopped and looked in awe. It reminded me that He comes to the barren places. In a neighborhood filled with houses this little barren piece of land was covered with doves. They were adult doves and baby doves. They blended so much into the landscape again, you would have never noticed them. As you know the dove is the symbol of the Holy Spirit in the Bible. And no, they weren't sparrows either. Right now I sense the Holy Spirit saying to me, that is how it is right now. He's here, but we are so caught up in our "troubles" that we don't even notice Him sitting peacefully in the dry places of our lives.
As I began to walk, I just wept with a joy, yet a brokeness in my spirit of grief for the those who have no idea who Jesus is. That portion of the song that I mentioned earlier where is says, "I long to see all nations bow their knees." Oh how I can't wait to see that day! I cried all the way down Harvard. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of what Jesus said in John 14:1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." Verse 16-18 says, "15"If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." In some translations the Counselor is referred to as the Comforter. Then verse 26-29 says, "26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 28"You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe." He was reminding me that He is the Comforter. That I don't need to be troubled and that I have access to the peace of God that passes all understanding that will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7) He knows and sees what's going on.
I concluded my walk listening to Natalie Grant singing "Holy Spirit Rain Down." What a "cardio walk" today. My heart was truly touched in a way today that I needed and I feel so good. God knows exactly how to talk to me. I guess He would because He created me, in His image. I went back to take a picture to share, but most of the doves were gone by the time I returned. I just want to thank Jesus for the sacrifice of His life to give me a relationship with the Heavenly Father. To connect with Him in such a way that I "feel" Him in my life. All I can say is "I love you Jesus and thank you so much for the gift of salvation!"
